Automatic Sliding Doors on the Star Ship Enterprise

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automatic sliding doors kirk

Many a time in the old Star Trek series Captain Kirk managed to get Lieutenant Uhura through those automatic sliding doors for a bit of hanky-panky. Either that or some gorgeous woman who turned out to be some ghastly monster with more slime and hair than Simon Cowell.

Captain Kirk had to hide his love-ins behind closed doors otherwise he would have Bones raising his eyebrows even more than usual, or Scotty suggesting he needed more thrust!

automatic sliding doorsDid you know that those early so-called electric sliding doors were actually two blokes pulling the doors out along smooth tracks and then pushing them back. Many a take had to be re-done as one half of the door ‘didn’t get the message’ to close.

These early sliding door systems evolved, but not much! They connected the two doors together by a bit of string and so when you pulled one string the doors opened and the other one made the doors close. At least then the actor wasn’t left with half a door to manoeuvre round.

How things have changed. Now a real Trekkie can have an automatic sliding door in their own house. These things are not just reserved for commercial sliding doors as the technology behind them is simple and not too expensive (though a bit more complicated than Star Trek string-worked ‘automatic’ sliding doors!).

Now, I am not a massive Star Trek fan (apart from 1st generation re-runs) but how cool would that be to have a sensor controlled automatic sliding door. How often do we try and open doors with our elbows because we are carrying a laptop, mouse and coffee (or a cuddly toy, dinner service and fondue set – good game, didn’t they do well – is anybody as old as me and know what I am talking about? 🙂

Well, for someone like me who is always carrying something (not like a virus) through doors I would love a pair. My wife, on the other hand, would kill me, and I am more scared of her than a Vulcan death grip.

Here is an assortment of funny Star Trek clips for old skool fans

TFMGQ45HFJAJ

DoFollow Blogs – SEOs Forbidden Planet

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do follow commentsToday, finding a dofollow blog is the seo equivalent of finding a nugget of gold in the California Hills.

Yes, there may be gold in them there www hills but they are increasingly hard to find, according to web design Bristol based firm Free Range Websites Ltd.

Someone makes the mistake of making themselves a dofollow blog – thus giving away their web power (‘juice’) to anyone and everyone. The next thing is they end up on some awful spammy list of dofollow blog sites and very soon they are spending their time dealing with spammy comments rather than writing new content or feeding the fish.

Many blogs change back to nofollow and all your spam is for nothing. There are those that say that nofollow actually carries some weight, but, if it is anything, it is very little indeed.

Our in-house SEO laboratory constantly keeps an eye on what effect what we post has on our keyword positions in Google, and a well written (we don’t do spam here ) nofollow comment post has about as much impact as a fart in the forest.

Our prediction for the future is that all these blog owners are soon going to delete all the nofollow comments and move over to a Facebook comment plugin. It is free, it is far more genuine, it offers just a fleeting social signal so is of no attraction to spammers and enables blogs to focus on the blog rather than trashing spam comments.

The first thing to do is, if you find a dofollow blog, do not post it on a list! It will get creamed and all your commenting will be for nothing. Keep it to yourself and then the power of that link might actually last for a bit.

The best way to quickly spot whether a blog is dofollow or nofollow is a simple Google or Firefox plugin. It will highlight nofollow with a red dotted underline.

dofollow blogs

Dofollow blogs: Dos and Donts

If you are looking to network on niche blogs then it doesn’t matter about dofollow or nofollow as you want humans to click on the link not Spiderbots.

If you are looking to gain a little squeeze of juice from blog commenting remember that you will mostly only get links back to your home page and if you put your name as ‘Wetsuit Sale’ you are very unlikely to get your comment passed.

The best plan of action is to:
1) Use the blog writer’s name
2) Start / End with a compliment
3) Say something worthwhile / relevant / interesting / funny or all of the above
4) Say thank you!
5) If you are posting on CommentLuv sites make sure your last blog was a real humdinger

Do Not:
1) Write a generic ‘I just love your writing style’ comment as mass post it – that sucks
2) Use keywords in the name unless invited to do so
3) Expect competitor sites to give you a free link
4) Just post on dofollow blogs as it will look dodgy
5) Think for one second this is a good long term strategy

Yes, dofollow blogs are still worth seeking out, but there are many other ways to get your site riding high. Our clients’ long tailed keywords have all hit page one positions by just adding a blog to their site, adding useful and informative content and using the blog to interlink the site with relevant varied anchor text. Oh, and with the comments turned off!

Every time we write a new post, we manually submit it to Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest, Tumblr etc. (automated submission systems all suck). It is a bit of a ball ache but worth it, as now even Google Plus give you a dofollow link – bang tidy!

Air Freight Companies : Soo, my daughter wants an elephant

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air freight companies

My little princess is never satisfied and I am on the phone with local Air Freight Companies looking for someone willing to deliver something really big.

It’s like an arms race with my child Cleopatra and although she hasn’t asked to bathe in donkey milk yet, I am waiting for it (I won’t use the proper name as I am confused between donkeys and a$$es. Update: It turns out that donkeys are descended from African wild a$$es and when male donkeys open up a can of wild a$$ on a female horse you get a mule. Oh, and you can guess how to make a zebra$$ or zonkey). A donkey would never satisfy her little ladyship, oh no.

So, my daughter wants an elephant. She has been going on about it for months and months and has finally worn me down. I asked about ocean freight but they said, no way, it had to be done by air freight forwarding.

I have bought the thing in Africa and the carpenters are busy building it a home on the estate and I am now speaking to Air Freight Companies to find someone crazy enough to deliver a 5000 kilo elephant to my front door.

I guess air freight forwarders will deliver anything given the right conditions. I have liased with the government about quarantine and made sure the elephant is healthy

It turns out that if it has a big dump before the flight it will save me about £500 such is the weight if its mighty ploppage.

There are lots of safety instructions about air freight UK officials have gone over everything with a fine toothcomb to make sure the elephant has some chill out pills to stop it turning into a wild a$$ on the plane.

Here is a video of a man who got his head stuck up an elephant’s a$$

-Update-

The air freight forwarder has agreed to pick and pack the pachyderm and it is flying on a Dumbo Jet over here as we speak.

Air freight companies like this one are very hard to find and for all those people (cough) out there thinking of buying their daughter an elephant – choose wisely.

 

Personalised Teddy Bears to entertain young children on Holiday

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personalised teddy bears

Any parent will tell you that kids and holidays equals tears and tantrums to a greater or lesser degree, but personalised teddy bears could be the answer to all our prayers.

No, I don’t mean just give them personalised bears each before they go on holiday and suddenly the rain clouds of tears will disappear in favour of a rainbow of smiles. But, personalised teddies are where it all starts.

Firstly, get some customised teddy bears made up. Perhaps with slogans printed on their T-shirts or hoodies like I’m with [insert child’s name] and then introduce them to the game Teddy Bears On Holiday. Every landmark you visit on holiday you get a photo of the bear. You may think it sounds dull, but young kids will eat this game up like sweet porridge.

I think the original idea came from a news story a few years back where a rugby team  stole a garden gnome and took it on tour with them, taking photos of it and posting them back to the owner saying what a great time it was having seeing the world. The team thought it was so funny that every time one of them went on holiday they had to pack this 5 kilo gnome and take it with them, sending photos and postcards back to the owner every time. That must have played havoc with the luggage allowance on budget airline trips.

The good thing about personalised teddy bears is that they are a lot lighter and the kids can take photos on their phone and you can make a photo montage when you get home.

Our kids loved it but I did want to throw the personalised teddies out the window a few times as I was sick of hearing how Dinkle and Fudge (their choice of names, not mine) loved having their picture taken and (as they were fully jointed) what great poses they could be gotten into, blah blah blah. I do love my children but sometimes I wanted to put my head out the car window and scream until the blood vessels in my eyes burst. My wife, on the other hand, is even less calm.

My Compatibility Horoscope Saved My Life!!

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Compatibility Horoscope

So, I was ready to take things to the next stage, you know the ring, down on one knee, hope for the best kinda thing.

I was real nervous and thought I might get some insights from getting a compatibility horoscope calculated for me.

So, I got my exact time and date of birth and her exact time and date of birth (her mother eyed me suspiciously when I asked and when I told her it was for horoscope love compatibility charts to be made she laughed like a drain. Slightly off subject, but I really can’t stand that pompous turkey-necked old scallop and I pray to Odin that ‘she’ doesn’t turn into ‘her’ – I will not marry her mother!)

So, back to love horoscopes compatibility charts. The charts took a few days to calculate, but when they came back the results were astounding. I have had relationship horoscopes done for me before but this one was so uncannily accurate that it made my nuts twitch with shock.

Dear Friends and Lovers

Please find below your love compatibility horoscope.
It has been worked out based on both your exact time and place of birth.

Then came the good stuff…

Horoscope compatibility love. Your partner will dominate you like your mother did and you will become laid back like your father and submissive.
She will have the more powerful job and you will bury your resentment of this deep down and try and sleep with her best friends as you both resent her and this will draw you together.
You will barely hold down a series of meaningless dead end jobs until you run off with a co-worker to live happily in a shoe box flat with a cat and a kid.

The fact that I had already slept with her friends was not the most amazing thing, it was that I could see my life unfolding through the report and knew it was all true.

So, thankfully I avoided wasting years of my life on her and I am now trying to sleep with co-workers with cats and if there are no cat-loving co-workers I know it’s time to move on to the next dead end job.

Thank you Compatibility Horoscope for saving my life!

Goodbye CNC Machining – Hello 3D Printing

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CNC Machining

Darling! The bath plug’s broken.

Don’t worry, I’ll just print off a new one.

With the new wave of 3D printers, has CNC machining had it’s day?

There may be a whole host of possibilities with 3D printers but you can’t print out metal (yet) so there is still a need for well turned out CNC machined parts.

3D Printing is a bit of a threat but CNC machining centres up and down the UK are not quaking in their safety boots. If fact CNC machining UK is looking pretty good. Many companies were turning to China for parts as they thought they would save a lot of money. The fact is, with the expense of logistics and issues of quality and materials in some cases, many companies are returning home for their CNC machining services.

Yes, you can print a new bath plug or egg cup, but there are not many things the average household needs desperately that they couldn’t wait for Amazon to deliver or go and buy a spare / replacement part from the local hardware shop.

3D printers will be the must have for all the techo-heads out there but it will not be replacing home CNC machining until the 3D printers can scan broken  machine parts and produce an exact unbroken replacement with one hand tied behind their backs.

Most 3D printers are scanning items and then printing them out layer by layer in a plastic. What is far more likely to happen is that a 3D printer will scan something and then send the scan into the CNC machining centre for the best of both worlds.

Glass Bowls – A Window on the World

glass crystal bowlsGlass bowls are not just for Goldfish dagnammit!

Some of the great glass artists in Europe use the glass bowl as their main ‘piece de resistance’ (yeah, I don’t know what they mean either – think its something to do with the French and Nazis)

Glass vases take a back seat as glass artisans pull fiery globules of glass from the fiery vortex and turn that molten globule into stunning glass bowls of supreme quality.

glass bowls

These hand blown glass bowls are in a league of their own and should never have a fish or a fruit put anywhere near them. They are just far too majestic in their own right to be besmirched by ‘Eve’s downfall’, or ‘Jesus’s instant takeaway for the 5000’ if you know what I mean 😉

The vivid colours within the glass bowls are due to the addition of metal oxides that produce strong vibrant colours that create a deep heart within the fine Polish or Bohemian crystal. Some are more subtle with pastel hues blend together in the clear crystal light.

Bold and brazen or subtle and understated, however you like your glass art the glass bowl provides an interesting insight into the artistic styles across Europe.

glass crystal bowl

There is, of course, something of the artist within each piece, but there is also something of the country within each artist.

My personal favourite are Adam Jablonski art glass bowls as they seem to show the flowering of the people after Communism and his glass bowls are full of colour and vibrancy.

Sadly, he has now retired, but he has left and indelible mark of the international glass market and his glass bowls are skyrocketing in price.

Dirty Glass I Want You

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To be fair I was not really expecting my life to be changed forever when I got out of bed that morning….

I was just trawling through the internet; looking at home decor, interior design blogs and then…KABLOOOEY!!!!!!!

Marian Pyrcak Glass Ornaments

Like a Siren from Homer’s Odyssey she hit me, calling me with her shimmering dulcet tones. Tall and statuesque but with curves to die for, it was like looking at a Picasso, before he decided that colour was a distraction.

A Bold, stoical and just the prettiest of glass ornaments, it was love at first sight! I wanted her and NOW!!

The post took so long. Come to me! I yearned to stroke her with my quivering hand, to rub her up and down with the finest of soft cloths.

I hungered to kneel before her beauty as she sat pride of place on my mantel place as I vigorously poked the fire.

Oh the euphemisms I could write her, but you would just think i was some kind of inglorious lolligagger who should be behind locked doors.

Tell me I am not crazy!! Tell me you see it too!! Such dazzling beauty, such perfection. Can it really be true?…

The postman arrived today. I practically grabbed him and spilled the contents of his sack all over the floor. There, jammed in the bottom of his well worn bag was a oblong box with my name on it. I flung a few envelopes back in his bag as a mere pretense of assisting with the clear up and scurried back into my flat at full pelt.

I could hardly keep my hands still as I slid the knife up into the crevice of the box and sliced her open. The sounds of the postman banging on the door demanding a signature were easy to ignore as I peeled back the skin of the parcel.

Beneath a few layers of cardboard were some curled up brown paper roses and underneath them was something in a swirl of frosted bubblewrap.

I slowly teased it open to reveal…

Click here to find out NOW!!!

Bohemian Glass – A Brief History

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Who doesn’t love the brilliant shimmer of a Bohemian Glass decanter with a thousand fine cuts that dazzle with every facet.

Bohemian Enameled Glass
The roots of Bohemian Glass go back to the thirteenth century where it all began in the foothills of the Silesian mountains.
Early pioneers discovered rich seams or raw materials and used them with great skill to begin the story of the Bohemian Glass odyssey
The story began in Bohemia in what is now the Czech Republic. The oldest glass making sites date back to the 1200s,
Bohemian artisans were in an area that was rich in raw materials and there were plenty of wood to make potash is keep the furnaces hot.
They combined the raw sand with chalk and the potash to create a strong glass that was more sturdy that the glass coming out of Italy at the same time.
Bohemian Moser GlassSoon lead was introduced to the glass making process and glass crystal evolved out of the fire to give a brilliance never seen before.
Very soon, Bohemian crystal gained a reputation for its fine quality and beautiful colouration.
The cutting wheel was a great leap forward for Bohemian Glass and enabled glass artists to make some of the World’s finest cut crystal glass.
The quality of Bohemian Crystal is down to the formula used to produce it. These formulas were closely guarded secrets and the proportions and mix of raw materials had a big impact on the final quality of the end product.
The glass comes in a vast range of colours, from ruby red, to azure to cobalt blue and pink. These bright colours have been brightening the homes of Europe’s middle classes since the middle ages.
They remain a byword imbued with quality even today and the name Bohemian Glass is still synonymous with exceptional quality even today.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Packages – How to decide who to go with

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There are dozens of Abu Dhabi Grand Prix packages on offer out there, and it is helpful to know a little bit about Dhabi and the circuit at Yas Marina in order to make a more informed choice. This will help you work out which Abu Dhabi Grand Prix packages are going to provide the best value for money and what to look out for when choosing F1 Travel companies.

Abu Dhabi City

It is really important, that whoever you go with, make sure they are covered by the ATOL protection scheme. This shows their credentials as a highly professional company and guarantees and insures your trip and deposit money if flights are included in the package.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Packages that offer you F1 Hotel accommodation right on Yas Marina are a good sign. The very best hotel to stay at for the F1 Grand Prix is the stunning Yas Marina F1 Hotel.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Corniche

If you are thinking of staying in a Dubai Hotel instead, then the 5 Star Burj AI Arab Hotel would be the ultimate place to stay. Unfortunately, it is about 2 hours from Abu Dhabi and this will mean a lot of to-ing and fro-ing. Or, if you are a high-roller, you could just charter a helicopter and ‘commute’ there and back for the race action.

In terms of F1 hospitality, the best option is usually the F1 Paddock Club golden ticket. Private lounges and air-conditioned suites help make the Arabian heat a little more bearable. If you don’t like the idea of a great balcony to watch the race from, then you could ask for a place on one of the super yachts that moor up at the edge of the track to take in the F1 race action.

The Yas circuit bends around Yas Marina, making it a great spot for watching the Grand Prix race. The yachts come from all over the world to enjoy the thrilling action so make sure you get a yacht in a berth with a prime viewing position.

The Arab Emirates are a wonderful blend of the ancient and the modern, with gleaming skyscrapers in the afternoon light and old mosques that glow in the afternoon sun. There are great restaurants and nightlife and wonderful entertainment centres like Ferrari World.

Abu Dhabi Yas Marina

Abu Dhabi is nestled on the coast and has a wealth of beautiful beaches stretching all the way along to Dubai and beyond. The five star hotels here on the coast often have their own private beaches were waiters will serve you cooling drinks as you soak up the Arabian sun.

Remember, when choosing Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Packages; make sure they are tailor made to your personal tastes, or the desires of your group. You and your family may want a more sedate experience, whereas a group of young men may well want to party at the Amber Lounge until the small hours of the morning.

Let your F1 Travel planner know as much as possible about the group that is going to ensure that the package is suitable and meets their high expectations.

Abu Dhabi is an exciting progressive city, and Abu Dhabi Grand Prix packages are a fabulous way to see a little piece of the Arabian Peninsula and catch all the trackside Grand Prix action and combine them into one amazing F1 experience.